What did YOU learn about self-pleasuring growing up?
When I was at high school, we got the classic condom and banana talk, and a big dose of some Abstinence Only stuff too.
What about you? What did you learn?
Most importantly: how did it affect the sex and intimacy you've had since then?
If you are a woman or socialized as a woman, I bet it was something along these lines:
"Good girls don't give it away"
"Don't be a slut"
"Vaginas are smelly and ugly"
"It's all about him and his pleasure"
(even if you're queer, we were all raised in a cis-heteronormative culture)
You would never have learned about the clitoris or even that your pleasure mattered in the first place.
I know this because I hear this ALL THE FUCKING TIME
If you were lucky, you stumbled across some magazines like Cosmo, or talked about it with your girlfriends.
But I will bet my tea collection you are still semi in the dark about how to really create pleasure, or why it's so important in the first place.
"Sure, orgasms are nice, but I'm busy right now."
"But I know what gets me off, what more do I need to learn?"
GURRRLL, let me walk you through it!
This isn't just about a quick wank to fill a gap when your partner isn't home or when you're feeling lonely, stressed, want to sleep or whatever.
This is a complete re-wire and re-wilding of how you relate to your body, your vulva, your pleasure, and your orgasm.
Read that again.
When you can become the mistress of your own pleasure, you never feel helpless or disempowered in bed ever again.
And it's one of my favourite topics to teach
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